Carol

I still love you.
we were friends with him,
when he introduced me to you.
I instantly found you
attractive,
funny, humorous,
lively,
and happy go lucky.
How I feared that!

You would make me laugh,
make my heart flip over,
make my body warm
just by looking at me.
Yet I clung to him.

I clung to him thinking
that friendship was commitment.
Foolish me.
you invited me out.
I felt it would be
unfaithful.
You seeked me out.
I stuck to him, thinking I had to
for if not, I'd be a traitor.
Foolish me.

now I look at you
with a woman you love,
not a woman I loath.
Fifteen years later,
four babies later,
and my heart is still yours,
yet we cannot belong each to the other.

Oft times I've wished
you would have been more aggressive,
that we would have kissed,
just once
for me to know
the taste of your lips
for memory's sake.

I still love you,
and it burns in my chest.
How I wish
I had listened to my heart
and chosen you
in place of him.