Audra A. Allensworth

Years later an accident happened where I had died three times;
My Dad told the Drs.
"Do everything you can
to help see that my baby girl survives!"

His prayers were
answered and as careful
as I could; I made it back
to him from beyond
as he knew that I would.

Forty seven years later
in the hospital is where
I sit now beside the bed
as you sleep I began
to pray; if I could make but
only one deal it would be to
give every breath I had to get
you to begin to heal.

As they began to ask about
putting you on Comfort Care;
simply put, it takes all life saving chances and throws them way
off into the air. 

However, my questions are the same now as from the very beginning and those are the WHY'S, the WHEN'S & finally followed by the WHERE?

The memories I have now
are fleeting in and around
my mind for they'll never
grow old; they are mine
and mine alone...
Now and forever
to have and to hold.

Two years ago on a bright spring morning:
you were crying in pain without any warning~
Being only five weeks old along with your tail
having been stripped right down to the bone;
My heart was breaking so we took you into our home~

After nurturing and caring for you each and every day;
I fell in love some where along the way~
Looney your love was an unconditional one;
that words will never truly describe how I felt
on the night that you died~

So often you came into my room and laid right beside me;
never wanting to leave; for you knew I couldn't walk so you
decided to stay right by me~

Your coat was so soft and your little purr was constant;
your kisses were the best to be quite honest~
The day came that I will never forget;
when you got into it with a mean and vicious stray cat~
it dislodged a blood clot which traveled down to your back hind legs;
Try as you might and as hard as you could you tried so hard to crawl
but it just did no good~

The decision I made was so very hard; how I wished that night;
upon a shooting star that you would be able to stay here with me forever~

Alas, that did not happen and you were released from your suffering;
to be able to be free with your spirit so you can run and play;
to stay young and never grow old one more day~


So my dear sweet Luna I miss you so much,
not a day has gone by where I haven't shed a tear;
but I know in my heart you will always be near~

For when my time on earth is done; I will finally be able to
walk and to run, When I arrive I will run as fast as I can;
that you can count on that I will run straight to the Rainbow Bridge;
where together we will not longer be paralyzed and we can run
together~

After a while of frolicking and fun;
we will lay beside one another just as we did before;
but this time will be forever laying
under the sun rays shining down on us on the heavenly shore~

Separation of a friendship is one of the hardest things to do
but sometimes it is the best way to stop you from feeling so blue;
There is no one to blame and no reason to call each other a name
for the pain from that is like lightening going through one vane~

The reasons for this is really not known
but one has to take a step back and take some
time to be alone~

Often it is referred to the death of a loved one
which is just more complex and complicated
than the prior statement that I made up above~

So take the time to step back for a day, a week or even two
if that is what is needed then that is what you must do;
Each life is so precious that we all must live and to
not be true to yourself is the greatest thing that you can all give~

In closing I sit back and will reflect on what had happened
and make sure that I learn from the mistakes that were made
so that if there is a next time I will be the one that will behave;
for all I can do is account for my indiscretions and learn from
all of those very hard lessons~

Now it is time for to say my ado's and just remember this that know
matter what I will always love you!

On that fateful day I will never forget
when I got the word, down on my knees is where I went;
The breath inside my body was gone and my mind
went to my sister where it belonged~

You are her son, a man to his wife and a daddy of two;
you never realized what you are putting them through;
a man's life you have taken and that you can never undo~

Where was that boy she tried to raise?
Did you get lost or did you just run away? 
Could you not find your way back through the long stormy night
and if you did were you expecting a fight?

Your loving wife sat for hours on end;
waiting and longing for you to come home
while saying to herself 
"I just don't understand"
then your babies would begin with their demands~
"Where is our Daddy and Why won't he come home?",
were the questions that the only answer that could be given
was "I just do not know..."

The choices you made on that night all began with a car,
two others and a man at his home which sat on his land~

As a Mom we try to teach our children to do what is right;
to do unto others and kiss each other
each day and each night~

So how can it be? Is what we wonder right now
so many lives; relationships have been
affected that you must never have quite expected~

The victim, his mother and siblings too;
were all included with the harm you put him through
Not only was his life taken that day
but yours now sits in a cell so far away~

Your mother, father, brothers and kin are all paying the price for your ultimate sin;
Even me, your aunt, whom you have grown to love, sheds a single tear and asks
How can it be oh how can it be?
One life touched so many and doesn't he see?
How can it be was the first thing I asked;
followed by why?
Then the tears, oh how they fell
'cause of the love I have for you all goes deeper than a well~

Here alone is where I will sit
where I will continue to help wherever I can;
whether it be to offer a ear or lend a helping hand~
Just please try to remember this if you will
that many of us love you still~

We will write and pray till our dying days
if that is what we must do;
just never forget that no matter what we
will always love you~