A Thing About Hair!

I've looked all over, but I don't know where
I got stuck with all this hair.
Some hair's where there once was none!
I must have more than anyone!

Hair on my head and hair on my toes,
Near and on and up my nose.
Hair in my ears and hair on my face.
That gosh darn hair's all over the place!

I got hair on my hands and on my hips,
Around my eyes and on my lips.
My tongue, my back, my chest and neck.
How can I keep this hair in check?!

It's under my arms, on top of 'em, too.
Around my tummy, but what can I do?!
My ankles, fingers, elbows, knees!
"Give me a razor, will ya, please?!"

So tell me why! Is there a reason?
Maybe I'm in werewolf season!
Or maybe I'm a nice gorilla,
Bigfoot, bear or huge chinchilla!

Or maybe I'm a cute alpaca,
Or a racka... or Chewbacca!!
But one thing puts my mind at ease;
At least I don't have any fleas!!

So now, while looking in the mirror,
I see myself a little clearer.
A lot of hair is what I see.
"OMG!... It's really me!"

Know what? I like it, after all!
It cushions me if I should fall!
I know it may look awfully wild,
But better once I've had it styled.

A body perm might fill the bill
And really test a stylist's skill.
A dye job, too, would be attractive,
But that might be over reactive.

So, at the dresser's I will note,
"No, it's not a furry coat!
It's just my hair!" I'll say to him,
"Do your best, please... just a trim."